The Holidays Are Here Again?!

Welp. It’s that time of year again.
The weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, the weeks in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, the days between Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Hanukah in there too of course. The time off from school and (hopefully) work. The Holidays. Whether your feelings about them are good, bad or indifferent, they are here again.

What else is here? The forced and obligatory time spent with family, friends, or co-workers. People we may severely differ from in some ways. Certain people are easy to fake it with, others not so much. This brings a lot of comfort for some people who get to catch up with family they haven't seen in a while. For others this brings a lot of stress and past trauma. The reactions for everyone are infinite.

A lot of time in sessions with clients has been devoted to this topic. How do we get through this time that’s supposed to be filled with joy, when it comes with so many reminders of loneliness, abandonment and that your need for love and belonging is not completely satisfied. Well the good news is, we have mindfulness! So of course we shall apply it to this area as well.

Step one is to be nonjudgmental. With yourself and with others. When the urge to judge arises, recognize it and follow with a loving kindness affirmation or meditation. Even a neutral statement is allowed here. If you recognized having an unkind thought, but then pivoted, then you're doing it right.

Step two is to decide on who your main support system is, who brings you joy, who energizes you and fills your spirit with love. Even if it’s one or two people. That’s really all we need to feel safe and secure. It could also be a support group of like minded humans.

Step three is to identify just one activity that would bring you joy, or nurture your inner child or teen. It could be a solo adventure or with one of your trusted inner circle. For an extra sprinkle of mindfulness, keep a journal of how you’re feeling throughout these next few months. Both good bad, and everything in between. Look for triggers or patterns that you might not have noticed before. Is there anything you would change for next year? You don’t have to start planning next year’s holidays but rather refer back to it when you’re ready. Having a plan for each holiday season will help you feel more mentally prepared.

As always, keep an eye on your basics. Make sure you’re getting enough movement, sleep, and nourishment. If any assistance is needed with any of this, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional, either in my practice or elsewhere. There are a plethora of resources and you don’t have to suffer alone.